The stress chemicals that are rushing through our bodies whenever we feel agitated, tense, or that a fight is about to get out of control have pushed our nervous system past our "window of tolerance," when we are neither overly nor underly alert. Furthermore, our neurological system has become overly restricted anytime we detach and isolate ourselves in order to feel safe, which prevents us from interacting with others and mending relationships.
In these situations, tender contact is especially beneficial since it releases oxytocin, one of our best resources for controlling the degree of physiological arousal in our nervous system. Oxytocin is the hormone of relationship repair because it is the neurochemical underpinning for the felt sensation of safety and trust. The fight-flight-freeze reaction to any perceived threat or danger is immediately counteracted by it. Blood pressure drops, stress hormone levels are lessened, and we become less emotionally reactive.
This emotional calmness can promote increased adaptability and transparency as well as reestablish a sense of connectedness that fosters increased cooperation and innovation. Furthermore, we can think more clearly and show more generosity and love to those around us when we feel safe and at ease.
The next time you're experiencing tension and erratic behavior, schedule an hour at Manava Therapy with a skilled therapist to help you defuse the situation and become more open, at ease, and capable of loving relationships.